天底下真的没有免费的午餐....
連鎖咖啡館大老闆捲款逃，小股東2000萬泡湯
投資公司疑借連鎖咖啡館名義，招攬投資者注資成為“小股東”，卻驚爆公司領導捲款事件，令“小股東”隨時變成“冤大頭”，而全國涉及投資款項保守估計超過2000萬令吉！ 據了解，公司是以“金字塔”直銷形式運作，以“穩定回酬率”為賣點，在約1年時間，在全國吸引至少3000名人士投資，而每單位投資金額為6900令吉，投資期限為5年。 據悉，在投資首兩年，公司每個月將回報300令吉，外加100令吉咖啡館餐券，接下來3年則每月回報150令吉，5年投資期滿，投資者便可按照咖啡館總盈利獲得額外紅利，數額不定。 然而，本地投資者於去年8月起陸續注資后，卻在今年6月開始，未繼續取得固定回酬，連本錢都未取回之際，卻被告知公司投資失利，大老板已捲款一走了之，令投資者擔心血汗錢有去無回。
以直銷方式招資 新山區逾200名投資者更在今午5時許，聚集位于士姑來順利花園的咖啡館，找來馬青全國消費人事物局主任柯松達調解；而投資者也一度與咖啡館方面負責人起語言沖突，場面一度陷入混亂，幸最終未爆發肢體沖突。 而部分投資者最終也到附近警局報案，希望警方介入調查。 柯松達較后召開記者會時指出，該公司其實是以直銷形式招攬民眾投資，只要投資者再招攬人加入，除了母錢，每月還可取得額外的“紅利”，但據其了解，該公司并未在直銷法令下申請執照，故是不能以直銷形式招攬投資者的。 他也說，初步統計，全國涉及上述投資的人士，多達3000人，而本地投資者中，更有人持有50個單位，因此，有理由相信涉及的款項，隨時超過上億令吉。
“我自兩三天前陸續接獲幾宗類似投訴，直至今日雙方談判破裂，終決定召開記者會。” 接管者聲稱將分期還錢 投資者披露，投資公司揚言已易主，新負責人更開出條件聲稱將分期還款，惟草擬出的“律師信函”的法律效應令人質疑，投資者更擔心會二度上當。
有投資者披露，負責人曾在9月間，召集投資者開會，并指會分5年，歸還投資者付出的剩余款項，并分發同意書要求簽署，但投資者發現，同意書上只有無從確認真偽的律師樓印章，擔心沒有法律效應，故沒有接受。 另外，馬青新山區團教育局主任陳佑雄也說，同意書上，有關屬于某律師樓的印章的真實性有待驗證，因據他了解發現，有關律師已否認草擬過類似同意書。 “同意書中，也有條款要求投資者不得公開評論公司管理層事宜，根本不合理。”
另一方面，據了解，相同投資公司屬下，其實也開發另一個投資項目，即“種辣椒”計劃，而投資者需付出9000令吉投資，爾后每10天即可獲得135令吉回酬；有投資者披露，此項投資計劃目前仍有回酬。 6月停止招攬投資者
已注資者促速報案 連鎖咖啡館“發言人”澄清，已在6月份停止招攬投資者，并要求已注資的投資者盡速報案。 自稱可代表咖啡館發言的紀志樺指出，前管理層涉及捲款2000萬令吉，而公司現有王姓老板（26歲），其實曾是投資龐大的“小股東”，現已接手公司；而他也已針對前公司總裁失信案，在上月報案，惟報案書所提及款項只有900萬令吉。
此外，據知，6月投資出現問題后，仍有新投資者加入，顯現“金子塔”仍繼續堆疊，對此，紀志樺說，招攬投資工作已全面停止，而新管理層也提出以20期（5年內）還款方案。 “無論如何，老板呼吁大家盡速報案，而他本身也將在警方采取行動后，現身向投資者闡明詳情。” 另外，他聲稱，咖啡館實際已易主，且將在短期內易名，而在連鎖營業形式下，全國目前有40多家分行，其中，11家為公司本身擁有的連鎖店。 但據觀察，此連鎖咖啡館至今未見易名，包括投資者聚集的咖啡館外，也仍張掛舊招牌。 另外，柯松達以紀志樺無法出示完整資料，質疑其代表發言權，并呼吁幕后老板盡速面對投資者，也促請警方采取行動。 相關投訴可致電016-xxxxxxxxx（柯松達）。
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
金融海啸的严重性
金融海啸的严重性:
- A. 试想以下各行各业的巨无霸所面对的严重困境：
1. 花旗银行，雷曼投资银行，美林，贝尔斯登
2. 世界最大汽车公司通用汽车（GM）
3. 美国两大赌博集团MGM，SANDS
4. 星巴克集团
5. 世界最大保险公司AIG
6. DHL快递公司
7. 星展集团
B. 李光耀说：新加坡需要三年至五年恢复经济常态
C. 敦马说: ...... this is too big, too big for Najib and too big for Obama
D. 中国说：低估了金融海啸的严重性
E. 联合国说：世界经济正面对着大萧条之后最严峻的考验
金融海啸的影响
1. 股市崩盘
2. 银根紧缩
3. 投资放缓
4. 外资止步
5. 百业萧条
6. 公司倒闭
7. 失业率增
8.消费减少
9. 呆账激增
10.出口下降
11.生产减量
12.汇率波动
13.利率下调
14.物价软化
私人界的应对策略
明察秋毫, 掌握资讯, 先知先觉. 当机立断, 精明理财, 储备现金
谨慎赊账, 薄利多销, 减少库存, 减存原料, 降低贷款, 强化组织
提高效率, 瘦身减肥, 节约开消, 论功行赏, 加强培训, 优化产品
壮士断臂
马来西亚在这场金融海啸中，将不可幸免而独善其身，私人界必须勇敢面对并从中吸取经验或从中找寻契机
这不是世界末日
山穷水尽疑无路
柳暗花明又一村
寒冬之后便是春
明天肯定会更好！:)
生耕致富 Earnest Cultivation Yields Fruitful Harvests
After watching the video clip on “生耕致富”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBt0BJTlu9A
Many have asked me what is the meaning of “生耕致富”??? Well, according to佛光山的星雲大師, his explanation is this:
生耕致富” 四個字, 生的第一个意思是”生命”, 因為我們每一個人有生命，生命要活著. 第二个意思是 ”生存”, 你要生存，你不是今天要生存一天，你还要明天、后天，今年、明年要”生存”. 第三个意思是 ”生活”, 你要”生存”，你还要”生活”.你有了”生命”, 有了”生存”，你不能不吃飯，不能不穿衣，不能沒有日用，不能不富有.
你要富有，結論就是”生耕致富”. 耕就是勤勞，耕就是要播種，耕就是要結緣，耕就是要工作 J
你如果要生存、生命、生活，你就要工作， 要勤勞，你就能致富，所以世間上应該沒有窮人的，世間上每一個人只要肯得生耕，人人都能致富 !!!
明白吗?
祝福大家生耕致富，扭转乾坤, 新年快乐！ J
To translate in English, it simply means “Earnest Cultivation Yields Fruitful Harvests”. All of us have a life. With life, we have to live. The second is to survive. Besides today, you also need to survive tomorrow; then the day after tomorrow. You need to survive this year, next year and so on. Not only you have to survive, you also have to make a living. Having life and to survive, you cannot go without food, clothing and daily necessities. In short, you need Wealth. You need all of them. The conclusion is “Earnest Cultivation Yields Fruitful Harvests”. Cultivation means diligence, putting effort to sow seeds and hard working.
If you want to survive, live a good life and make a decent living, you need to work hard and work diligently before you can make a fortune. So, no one is de facto poor in strict sense. In this world if one is willing to work hard at time like this, everyone can strike it rich.
Am I talking sense???
Earnest cultivation yields fruitful harvests. Happy New Year!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBt0BJTlu9A
Many have asked me what is the meaning of “生耕致富”??? Well, according to佛光山的星雲大師, his explanation is this:
生耕致富” 四個字, 生的第一个意思是”生命”, 因為我們每一個人有生命，生命要活著. 第二个意思是 ”生存”, 你要生存，你不是今天要生存一天，你还要明天、后天，今年、明年要”生存”. 第三个意思是 ”生活”, 你要”生存”，你还要”生活”.你有了”生命”, 有了”生存”，你不能不吃飯，不能不穿衣，不能沒有日用，不能不富有.
你要富有，結論就是”生耕致富”. 耕就是勤勞，耕就是要播種，耕就是要結緣，耕就是要工作 J
你如果要生存、生命、生活，你就要工作， 要勤勞，你就能致富，所以世間上应該沒有窮人的，世間上每一個人只要肯得生耕，人人都能致富 !!!
明白吗?
祝福大家生耕致富，扭转乾坤, 新年快乐！ J
To translate in English, it simply means “Earnest Cultivation Yields Fruitful Harvests”. All of us have a life. With life, we have to live. The second is to survive. Besides today, you also need to survive tomorrow; then the day after tomorrow. You need to survive this year, next year and so on. Not only you have to survive, you also have to make a living. Having life and to survive, you cannot go without food, clothing and daily necessities. In short, you need Wealth. You need all of them. The conclusion is “Earnest Cultivation Yields Fruitful Harvests”. Cultivation means diligence, putting effort to sow seeds and hard working.
If you want to survive, live a good life and make a decent living, you need to work hard and work diligently before you can make a fortune. So, no one is de facto poor in strict sense. In this world if one is willing to work hard at time like this, everyone can strike it rich.
Am I talking sense???
Earnest cultivation yields fruitful harvests. Happy New Year!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Under Current Pending world recession
Under Current Pending world recession, you need to keep your blood pressure under control and relaxation is paramount important. How to achieve this? See below.
Joyful music improves blood vessel function
Posted in Cardio-Vascular on Mon November 17, 2008
Recent study results suggest that laughing and listening to music that makes people feel joyful can help to improve blood vessel function.
Michael Miller and colleagues studied the effect of different music on 10 volunteers. While the volunteers were listening to the music the researchers measured how well their blood vessels responded to a sudden increase in blood flow caused by the release of a blood pressure cuff.
Results showed that when the volunteers listened to music that made them feel joyful their blood vessels dilated by 26%. In comparison, listening to music that made the volunteers feel anxious caused blood vessels to dilate by 6%. Laughter was also found to improve blood flow. Listening to a comedy tape caused blood vessels to dilate by 19%.
Miller M, Beach V, Mangano C, Vogel RA. Positive Emotions and the Endothelium: Does Joyful Music Improve Vascular Health?” Miller M, Beach V, Mangano C, Vogel RA. Presented at the American Heart Association Scientific Sessions, November 11th 2008.
Joyful music improves blood vessel function
Posted in Cardio-Vascular on Mon November 17, 2008
Recent study results suggest that laughing and listening to music that makes people feel joyful can help to improve blood vessel function.
Michael Miller and colleagues studied the effect of different music on 10 volunteers. While the volunteers were listening to the music the researchers measured how well their blood vessels responded to a sudden increase in blood flow caused by the release of a blood pressure cuff.
Results showed that when the volunteers listened to music that made them feel joyful their blood vessels dilated by 26%. In comparison, listening to music that made the volunteers feel anxious caused blood vessels to dilate by 6%. Laughter was also found to improve blood flow. Listening to a comedy tape caused blood vessels to dilate by 19%.
Miller M, Beach V, Mangano C, Vogel RA. Positive Emotions and the Endothelium: Does Joyful Music Improve Vascular Health?” Miller M, Beach V, Mangano C, Vogel RA. Presented at the American Heart Association Scientific Sessions, November 11th 2008.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Management Case Study
Management Case Study No.1
The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the Doctortold him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do. The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming fromthe city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but to his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day.
The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cutthe heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will notbe able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done. The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmerasked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box withsmall potatoes, and one box with big potatoes. At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes were empty. The farmer asked the manager: "How is that you did such difficult jobs during the first days, and now you cannot do this simple job?" The manager answered: "Listen, all my life I'm cutting heads and dealing with shit, but now you ask me to make decisions!"
Management Case Study No.2
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "the parrot on the left costs 500 dollars".
"Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man.
The shop owner says, "well, the parrot knows how to use a computer".
The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plusit knows how to use the UNIX operating system.
Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third Parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs thequestion,
"What can it do?"
To which the shop owner replies, "to be honest I have never seen it do anything, but the other two call him boss!"
Management Case Study No.3
A big manager is giving his emploees a lecture about improving production. He entered the room with a large, emgty jar, and a big bag. Presenting the jar to the emploees, he opens his bag and starts taking out rocks out of it, putting them in the jar.
As he finished, he asks his emploees whether the jar is full.
"Yes, of course."
The manager than opens a package of peas, and starts pouring them into the jar. When he finished, he asks the emploees whether the jar is full again.
"Yes, indeed"
Then he opens a package of rice, and starts pouring the rice inside. When he finishes, he asks the question again:
"Is the jar full now?"
"Yes, it is."
He takes a bottle of beer out of his bag and pours it in the jar, filling it to the edges. Then, he asks his workers:
"So, what moral have you learned today?"
"Bigger matters come first?"
.......................................................................................................................
Management Case Study No. 4
This is for those amongst you that think some people get paid too much
Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, a nd when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.
Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer . $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ........................... $ 9998.00
Total $ 10,000.00
The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the Doctortold him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do. The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming fromthe city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but to his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day.
The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cutthe heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will notbe able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done. The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmerasked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box withsmall potatoes, and one box with big potatoes. At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes were empty. The farmer asked the manager: "How is that you did such difficult jobs during the first days, and now you cannot do this simple job?" The manager answered: "Listen, all my life I'm cutting heads and dealing with shit, but now you ask me to make decisions!"
Management Case Study No.2
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "the parrot on the left costs 500 dollars".
"Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man.
The shop owner says, "well, the parrot knows how to use a computer".
The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plusit knows how to use the UNIX operating system.
Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third Parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs thequestion,
"What can it do?"
To which the shop owner replies, "to be honest I have never seen it do anything, but the other two call him boss!"
Management Case Study No.3
A big manager is giving his emploees a lecture about improving production. He entered the room with a large, emgty jar, and a big bag. Presenting the jar to the emploees, he opens his bag and starts taking out rocks out of it, putting them in the jar.
As he finished, he asks his emploees whether the jar is full.
"Yes, of course."
The manager than opens a package of peas, and starts pouring them into the jar. When he finished, he asks the emploees whether the jar is full again.
"Yes, indeed"
Then he opens a package of rice, and starts pouring the rice inside. When he finishes, he asks the question again:
"Is the jar full now?"
"Yes, it is."
He takes a bottle of beer out of his bag and pours it in the jar, filling it to the edges. Then, he asks his workers:
"So, what moral have you learned today?"
"Bigger matters come first?"
.......................................................................................................................
Management Case Study No. 4
This is for those amongst you that think some people get paid too much
Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, a nd when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.
Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer . $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ........................... $ 9998.00
Total $ 10,000.00
The market is bad...So decided to tell some jokes
Joke No.1 :
A UM graduate found himself difficult to get a job here. He finally accepted the offer to work with Taiping Zoo.
"What to do? It's better to work like this than earning nothing...", mumbling to himself.
So since that day, the IT grad started work acting as a monkey. He has to wear monkey suit and mask, chew nuts and eat bananas. He has to climb trees too and jump from one to another to attract visitors.
The zoo has since then enjoyed tremendous business due to the increase in visitors. Even Mahathir wanted to see the super 'smart' monkey in the world.
Unfortunately, one day when he was jumping from the trees, he fell down into a crocodile pool!
"Oh my God...I'm dying...now" he thought, as a hungry looking crocodile swam steadily towards his direction.
In the middle of his struggle, suddenly he heard a soft voice, "Don't be afraid my friend... I'm from UKM".
Have a good laugh !
Next Joke: Night Courses! - This is really Funny...
Ah Beng went to take night courses so that he could get
a promotion or a better job. During work, Ah Beng likes
to show off to Ah Seng about his knowledge.
Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... I've been taking night courses
for 3 months already, next week is the exam.
Ah Seng: Oh... Good luck ah.
Then Ah Beng started show off...
Ah Beng: Ok, I test you, who is Graham Bell?
Ah Seng: Don't know
Ah Beng: He is the inventor of phone la... in 1876,
see... if you take night courses, you would know this.!
Ah Seng: ....................... *speechless*
The next day, Ah Beng shows off again...
Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... let me ask you, who is Jean
Jacques Rousseau?
Ah Seng: Wash your toilet one ah?
Ah Beng: No! He's the author of "Confessions",
nah nah nah... told you already, if you take night
courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: .................. *speechless + frustrated*
The next day, once again...
Ah Beng: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
Ah Seng: Your gay partner?
Ah Beng: Choiii!!! If you do! n't know don't simply
answer la. He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers" ,
if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: ........ *speechless + frustrated + irritated
This time Ah Seng cannot tahan (stand) anymore and ask
Ah Beng...
Ah Seng: Eh... Do you know who is Ah Kaw?
Ah Beng: Errrr... No!
Ah Seng: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!!
If you stop night courses, you would know this!!
Ah Beng: ........................ *fainted*
NEXT... Legal Misunderstandings...
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!" he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.
"Bring them as well!"
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall."
NEXT.....This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in Britain:
One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says 'You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here.'
The astonished Chinese man replied 'It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor , it was the Japanese'.
'Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same,' replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says 'You sank the Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship.'
Shocked, Spielberg replies 'It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.'
The Chinese replies, 'Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same.'
Have a good day !
These jokes below, Ladies out there, you'll love this!
Husband StoreA store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE ! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. . . . You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims,"I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
NEXT...
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: 'Hello'
WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'
MAN: 'Yes'
WOMAN: 'I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?'
MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'
WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked.'
MAN: 'How much?'
WOMAN: '$390,000'
MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'
WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing....the house I wanted last year is back on the market They're asking $2,950,000' for it.
MAN: 'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $2,800,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $150,000 if it's really a pretty good price.'
WOMAN: 'OK.. I'll see you later! I love you so much!'
MAN: 'Bye! I love you, too.'
The man hangs up.
The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'
A UM graduate found himself difficult to get a job here. He finally accepted the offer to work with Taiping Zoo.
"What to do? It's better to work like this than earning nothing...", mumbling to himself.
So since that day, the IT grad started work acting as a monkey. He has to wear monkey suit and mask, chew nuts and eat bananas. He has to climb trees too and jump from one to another to attract visitors.
The zoo has since then enjoyed tremendous business due to the increase in visitors. Even Mahathir wanted to see the super 'smart' monkey in the world.
Unfortunately, one day when he was jumping from the trees, he fell down into a crocodile pool!
"Oh my God...I'm dying...now" he thought, as a hungry looking crocodile swam steadily towards his direction.
In the middle of his struggle, suddenly he heard a soft voice, "Don't be afraid my friend... I'm from UKM".
Have a good laugh !
Next Joke: Night Courses! - This is really Funny...
Ah Beng went to take night courses so that he could get
a promotion or a better job. During work, Ah Beng likes
to show off to Ah Seng about his knowledge.
Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... I've been taking night courses
for 3 months already, next week is the exam.
Ah Seng: Oh... Good luck ah.
Then Ah Beng started show off...
Ah Beng: Ok, I test you, who is Graham Bell?
Ah Seng: Don't know
Ah Beng: He is the inventor of phone la... in 1876,
see... if you take night courses, you would know this.!
Ah Seng: ....................... *speechless*
The next day, Ah Beng shows off again...
Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... let me ask you, who is Jean
Jacques Rousseau?
Ah Seng: Wash your toilet one ah?
Ah Beng: No! He's the author of "Confessions",
nah nah nah... told you already, if you take night
courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: .................. *speechless + frustrated*
The next day, once again...
Ah Beng: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
Ah Seng: Your gay partner?
Ah Beng: Choiii!!! If you do! n't know don't simply
answer la. He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers" ,
if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: ........ *speechless + frustrated + irritated
This time Ah Seng cannot tahan (stand) anymore and ask
Ah Beng...
Ah Seng: Eh... Do you know who is Ah Kaw?
Ah Beng: Errrr... No!
Ah Seng: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!!
If you stop night courses, you would know this!!
Ah Beng: ........................ *fainted*
NEXT... Legal Misunderstandings...
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!" he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.
"Bring them as well!"
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall."
NEXT.....This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in Britain:
One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says 'You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here.'
The astonished Chinese man replied 'It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor , it was the Japanese'.
'Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same,' replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says 'You sank the Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship.'
Shocked, Spielberg replies 'It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.'
The Chinese replies, 'Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same.'
Have a good day !
These jokes below, Ladies out there, you'll love this!
Husband StoreA store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE ! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. . . . You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims,"I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
NEXT...
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: 'Hello'
WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'
MAN: 'Yes'
WOMAN: 'I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?'
MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'
WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked.'
MAN: 'How much?'
WOMAN: '$390,000'
MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'
WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing....the house I wanted last year is back on the market They're asking $2,950,000' for it.
MAN: 'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $2,800,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $150,000 if it's really a pretty good price.'
WOMAN: 'OK.. I'll see you later! I love you so much!'
MAN: 'Bye! I love you, too.'
The man hangs up.
The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Truth and justice are no longer Malaysian way
I am very impressed with this article written by Michael Backman, so decided to post it in my blog for sharing...
Truth and justice are no longer Malaysian way
By Michael Backman
The Age
November 21, 2007
THE Government of Australia will probably change hands this weekend. There will be no arrests, no tear gas and no water cannons. The Government of John Howard will leave office, the Opposition will form a government and everyone will accept the verdict.
For this, every Australian can feel justifiably proud. This playing by the rules is what has made Australia rich and a good place in which to invest. It is a country to which people want to migrate; not leave.
Now consider Malaysia. The weekend before last, up to 40,000 Malaysians took to the streets in Kuala Lumpur to protest peacefully against the judiciary's lack of independence, electoral fraud, corruption and a controlled media.
In response, they were threatened by the Prime Minister, called monkeys by his powerful son-in-law, and blasted with water cannons and tear gas. And yet the vast majority of Malaysians do not want a change of government. All they want is for their government to govern better.
Both Malaysia and Australia have a rule of law that's based on the English system. Both started out as colonies of Britain. So why is Malaysia getting it so wrong now?
Malaysia's Government hates feedback. Dissent is regarded as dangerous, rather than a product of diversity. And like the wicked witch so ugly that she can't stand mirrors, the Government of Prime Minister Abdullah Badawi controls the media so that it doesn't have to see its own reflection.
Demonstrations are typically banned. But what every Malaysian should know is that in Britain, Australia and other modern countries, when people wish to demonstrate, the police typically clear the way and make sure no one gets hurt. The streets belong to the people. And the police, like the politicians, are their servants. It is not the other way around.
But increasingly in Malaysia, Malaysians are being denied a voice — especially young people.
Section 15 of Malaysia's Universities and University Colleges Act states that no student shall be a member of or in any manner associate with any society, political party, trade union or any other organisation, body or group of people whatsoever, be it in or outside Malaysia, unless it is approved in advance and in writing by the vice-chancellor.
Nor can any student express or do anything that may be construed as expressing support, sympathy or opposition to any political party or union. Breaking this law can lead to a fine, a jail term or both.
The judiciary as a source of independent viewpoints has been squashed. The previous prime minister, Mahathir Mohamad, did many good things for Malaysia, but his firing of the Lord President (chief justice) and two other Supreme Court judges in 1988 was an unmitigated disaster. Since then, what passes for a judiciary in Malaysia has been an utter disgrace and the Government knows it.
Several years ago, Daim Zainuddin, the country's then powerful finance minister, told me that judges in Malaysia were a bunch of idiots. Of course we want them to be biased, he told me, but not that biased.
Rarely do government ministers need to telephone a judge and demand this or that verdict because the judges are so in tune with the Government's desires that they automatically do the Government's beckoning.
Just how appalling Malaysia's judiciary has become was made clear in recent weeks with the circulation of a video clip showing a senior lawyer assuring someone by telephone that he will lobby the Government to have him made Lord President of the Supreme Court because he had been loyal to the Government. That someone is believed to have been Ahmad Fairuz Abdul Halim, who did in fact become Lord President.
A protest march organised by the Malaysian Bar Council was staged in response to this, and corruption among the judiciary in general. But the mainstream Malaysian media barely covered the march even though up to 2000 Bar Council members were taking part. Reportedly, the Prime Minister's office instructed editors to play down the event.
Instead of a free media, independent judges and open public debate, Malaysians are given stunts — the world's tallest building and most recently, a Malaysian cosmonaut. Essentially, they are given the play things of modernity but not modernity itself.
Many senior Malays are absolutely despairing at the direction of their country today. But with the media tightly controlled they have no way of getting their views out to their fellow countrymen. This means that most Malaysians falsely assume that the Malay elite is unified when it comes to the country's direction.
Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah, a former finance minister and today still a member of the Government, told me several weeks ago in Kuala Lumpur that he could see no reason why today Malaysia could not have a completely free media, a completely independent judiciary and that corrupt ministers and other officials should be publicly exposed and humiliated.
According to Tengku Razaleigh, all of the institutions designed to make Malaysia's Government accountable and honest have been dismantled or neutered.
It didn't need to be like this. Malaysia is not North Korea or Indonesia. It is something quite different. Its legal system is based on British codes. Coupled with traditional Malay culture, which is one of the world's most hospitable, decent and gentle cultures, Malaysia has the cultural and historical underpinnings to become one of Asia's most civilised, rules-based, successful societies.
Instead, Malaysia's Government is incrementally wasting Malaysia's inheritance.
ends
Also available on the Age's website:
http://www.theage.com.au/news/business/truth-and-justice-are-no-longer-malaysian-
way/2007/11/20/1195321781628.html
Truth and justice are no longer Malaysian way
By Michael Backman
The Age
November 21, 2007
THE Government of Australia will probably change hands this weekend. There will be no arrests, no tear gas and no water cannons. The Government of John Howard will leave office, the Opposition will form a government and everyone will accept the verdict.
For this, every Australian can feel justifiably proud. This playing by the rules is what has made Australia rich and a good place in which to invest. It is a country to which people want to migrate; not leave.
Now consider Malaysia. The weekend before last, up to 40,000 Malaysians took to the streets in Kuala Lumpur to protest peacefully against the judiciary's lack of independence, electoral fraud, corruption and a controlled media.
In response, they were threatened by the Prime Minister, called monkeys by his powerful son-in-law, and blasted with water cannons and tear gas. And yet the vast majority of Malaysians do not want a change of government. All they want is for their government to govern better.
Both Malaysia and Australia have a rule of law that's based on the English system. Both started out as colonies of Britain. So why is Malaysia getting it so wrong now?
Malaysia's Government hates feedback. Dissent is regarded as dangerous, rather than a product of diversity. And like the wicked witch so ugly that she can't stand mirrors, the Government of Prime Minister Abdullah Badawi controls the media so that it doesn't have to see its own reflection.
Demonstrations are typically banned. But what every Malaysian should know is that in Britain, Australia and other modern countries, when people wish to demonstrate, the police typically clear the way and make sure no one gets hurt. The streets belong to the people. And the police, like the politicians, are their servants. It is not the other way around.
But increasingly in Malaysia, Malaysians are being denied a voice — especially young people.
Section 15 of Malaysia's Universities and University Colleges Act states that no student shall be a member of or in any manner associate with any society, political party, trade union or any other organisation, body or group of people whatsoever, be it in or outside Malaysia, unless it is approved in advance and in writing by the vice-chancellor.
Nor can any student express or do anything that may be construed as expressing support, sympathy or opposition to any political party or union. Breaking this law can lead to a fine, a jail term or both.
The judiciary as a source of independent viewpoints has been squashed. The previous prime minister, Mahathir Mohamad, did many good things for Malaysia, but his firing of the Lord President (chief justice) and two other Supreme Court judges in 1988 was an unmitigated disaster. Since then, what passes for a judiciary in Malaysia has been an utter disgrace and the Government knows it.
Several years ago, Daim Zainuddin, the country's then powerful finance minister, told me that judges in Malaysia were a bunch of idiots. Of course we want them to be biased, he told me, but not that biased.
Rarely do government ministers need to telephone a judge and demand this or that verdict because the judges are so in tune with the Government's desires that they automatically do the Government's beckoning.
Just how appalling Malaysia's judiciary has become was made clear in recent weeks with the circulation of a video clip showing a senior lawyer assuring someone by telephone that he will lobby the Government to have him made Lord President of the Supreme Court because he had been loyal to the Government. That someone is believed to have been Ahmad Fairuz Abdul Halim, who did in fact become Lord President.
A protest march organised by the Malaysian Bar Council was staged in response to this, and corruption among the judiciary in general. But the mainstream Malaysian media barely covered the march even though up to 2000 Bar Council members were taking part. Reportedly, the Prime Minister's office instructed editors to play down the event.
Instead of a free media, independent judges and open public debate, Malaysians are given stunts — the world's tallest building and most recently, a Malaysian cosmonaut. Essentially, they are given the play things of modernity but not modernity itself.
Many senior Malays are absolutely despairing at the direction of their country today. But with the media tightly controlled they have no way of getting their views out to their fellow countrymen. This means that most Malaysians falsely assume that the Malay elite is unified when it comes to the country's direction.
Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah, a former finance minister and today still a member of the Government, told me several weeks ago in Kuala Lumpur that he could see no reason why today Malaysia could not have a completely free media, a completely independent judiciary and that corrupt ministers and other officials should be publicly exposed and humiliated.
According to Tengku Razaleigh, all of the institutions designed to make Malaysia's Government accountable and honest have been dismantled or neutered.
It didn't need to be like this. Malaysia is not North Korea or Indonesia. It is something quite different. Its legal system is based on British codes. Coupled with traditional Malay culture, which is one of the world's most hospitable, decent and gentle cultures, Malaysia has the cultural and historical underpinnings to become one of Asia's most civilised, rules-based, successful societies.
Instead, Malaysia's Government is incrementally wasting Malaysia's inheritance.
ends
Also available on the Age's website:
http://www.theage.com.au/news/business/truth-and-justice-are-no-longer-malaysian-
way/2007/11/20/1195321781628.html
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